grace is being pardoned
by Annie's words
Summary: This is a bella story...not Jake/Bella or Edward/Bella just Bella, her friends and her struggles to get on with her life and over the past. Its about life and the choices that change her after Edward leaves. What I think would happen if he never came back
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 I do not own twilight, Stephenie Meyer does. (as if you had to be told)

**Bella's pov**

This is what my existence has come to. Running.

Running from monsters. I am Isabella Swan. People call me Bella. Well not really, only Jake. I don't talk to anybody else anymore, just Jake. He is my Sun, my entire reason for getting up in the morning, now that everything else is gone.

Now, back to the running. I had tried to go to the meadow. The meadow were Edward and I fell in love. I just wanted to feel him there. I wanted to believe he was still with me. Instead I was almost sucked dry by Laurent, and then attacked by the bear-wolves. I call them that because they were supposed to be bears...huge bears.

These weren't bears. Not even close. They were wolves. Huge monstrous wolves. They were as big as horses, snarling and snapping. They came from no were and started chasing Laurent through the now dry and colorless meadow. I wasn't going to wait and see if they remembered they were still hungry for me when they could not catch Laurent. That is, if they even survived this attack.

So I was running away. Running and falling. My lungs were screaming for air, my knees were scratched and bloody from tripping over trees, ferns and tufts of grass. I was pushing my body to keep going through this never ending forest of green on green. How far have I gone anyway, am I far enough away so they can't smell me? Then I saw a huge fallen tree, the roots lifted out of the ground making a canopy of earth and ferns over the hole, that was my salvation. I could hide, hide in the hole, hide and wait. Wait for nothing or wait for my death.

Edward wasn't going to come and help me this time. He was gone. He came into my life, my heart. He turned my entire existence into a paradise of wonder and excitement. Then without even an argument or a whimper he stole everything from me and left. My faith, hope, love...my happiness. without a care, he was gone, now working on his next victim probably. he did not suck the life blood from me, as vampires are supposed to do. He sucked the spirit out of me instead. he killed my fire and left me a shell, running and hiding from life.

As my thoughts continued to go wild in every direction, examining my life as it was now, I heard heavy footsteps coming. Closer and closer. I took in a deep breath and tried to quite my heart...

**Leah's pov. **

And once again I am being ordered around! Dammit! I just got home from a double shift, barely got out of the shower and now he is telling me to get back out there! What the hell for, because they think they found a fresh scent on a blood sucker, again. Well guess what? I don't give a crap what they think. I need rest. Not beauty rest, because frankly, I am beautiful. I just needed rest, I had been up for 24 hrs. Running circles around and around, and before then 18 hrs. Yep, no life here, and definitely, no rest. I am fucking tired...

I quickly morphed into wolf form again. I wanted all of the guys to know just how unhappy I was about being called out again. I have only been able to do the change for 10 days now. Apparently Sam thinks its better that I stay a dog for a while to get used to being a dog. whatever like any kind of normal girl wants to get used to being a dog, well wolf to be exact. I hated this shape shifter business. Only guys were supposed to change, well only guys and me. Nature had a cruel way of torturing me, first the love of my life gets ripped away from me, and now I have to turn into a dog on demand. Well guess what there are several forms of these wolf/people and I am setting out to be the major bitch of this pack. I may have no choice or control on what I have become. I may have no choice on this obedience thing or the asshole ordering me around, but I don't have to like it. Speaking of the ass, guess who he is? Oh yea, the very guy who ripped my heart out, the very guy who destroyed my future and dreams in one fell swoop. Now, not only do I have to listen and obey the piece of shit, now I have to constantly be in his head too. Seeing his dreams come true. His perfect little life, with my cousin. seeing him touch her in his head, seeing him kiss her in his head and seeing him fuck her over and over again. stupid wolf telepathy. Stupid werewolf change, Fucking mother nature and her cruel joke on my life. Well, at least I was better at hiding things than they were. If I could only get a break...one little break.

Oh look there is Jake. He is in the lead I guess we are going to catch this fang monster first...since we are the fastest, and we were really hauling ass now, dirt was flying limbs snapping, the wind was whooshing past my face and ears with a cool breeze and there wasn't a sound any were around us. The smells around us were slightly over whelming, I could smell everything the mulch under my feet that was slightly mixed with dirt and rotting, the wood on the trees and the raindrops resting on the leaves higher up. The stale water that escaped the leafy canopy and was now sitting in puddles all around us. And the very unmistakable trail that burned my nostrils like horse radish, that trail was the smell of a vampire close by. It must have passed by very recently.

Shit my nails are getting dirty again, it was unavoidable but very annoying. The dog version of my not so perfect manicure dug into the damp earth with every footfall I made, leaving my nails stained a dull brown color with dirt caked into each nail. My hair that used to be long and silky was now whacked off with a pair of kitchen sheers and was getting matted and sweaty again too. damn wolf form.

With barely a whimper I saw a meadow in Jake's head, and he stopped suddenly causing me to run right into him. "oh crap Jake, I know you wanted me to touch your ass, but you could have just asked" I thought. He huffed a little but then perked his ears up.

"Wait, Leah. Look, for a second. There she is. Open your eyes and pay the fuck attention" he growled back at me in his head.

I looked over his shoulder and there was a meadow in the middle of the forest, with dried grass and a girl. on closer inspection I recognized the girl as being Bella swan. Jake was slightly obsessed with the Swan girl. She was pretty in a pale sort of way, but seemed very quiet and maybe a little snobbish. Now though, she looked terrified.

I looked further down the field about 100 feet and I saw the reason for all of this fear. A dark, chalky vampire, with long dread locks and dirty clothes on, caked in mud and old blood. If that wasn't enough of a give-a-way his blood red eyes told us for certain he was def. Not a Cullen. he was talking to Bella in a a creepy and dominating voice.

just as I was observing the vamp, the rest of the pack caught up to us. The blood sucker was steadily creeping closer and closer to Bella as he spoke lower and lower. Bella was talking about the Cullens, they are the vamps we could not touch, the vamps who lead her on and left her high and dry in this scary world we lived in. at least she had enough since to be scared of this blood sucker. Sam took the lead as he prepared to attack. Right before he stepped out of the curtain of trees hiding us, he turned around and orders me again, in that alpha tone I can't ignore...

"Leah, I want you to take care of the girl. and don't scare the crap out of her either" so once again I had to obey the dumb mutt.

apparently I was in too bad a mood to fight a vamp. That a new wolf with a bad attitude was not something they wanted to mess with. Whatever. fuck them! The pack all started to leave me in woods, to attack. I just sat on my haunches for a second and watched them all leave. Jared left our hiding place last, and he was laughing and mocking me..so I snapped at his a tail a little, I heard him whimper a little at he tried to leap out of my way. Whatever prick, I thought I am still faster! he ran off, but he wasn't laughing anymore!

After they were out of sight I headed out to find Bella. I headed out slow to track her trail because she was gone...she was running for her life, which frankly I don't blame her she was scared before she saw us. We were pretty scary too, she must have been terrified. I knew she had to have heard the rumors about the bears attacking people. well guess what she knows now, we aren't bears. she probably did not realize we don't attack people either. We protect them from the vampires who can't seem to stay away from here. I was getting closer to her so I morphed back into my true form and threw on the tank dress I had tied around my leg.

I started walking now slower so I wouldn't scare her, I could smell her blood, she was hurt but not bad. she had stopped running now, good thing because she wasn't good at it. I think she fell more than she ran. She was hiding. Scared to death, I pitied her a little and decided to be nice, I haven't talked to any king of girl except my mom in a while and frankly I was getting lonely for a friend to chat with that could not read my mind. There she was under some tree roots. I will let her discover me first. I don't think I need to be to obvious. She will probably already put all this together quite easily. According to Jake she was very perceptive and handled the super natural well. A little to well. She must have been holding her breath, because I heard a swoosh from her lungs letting it out. Her heart was beating like crazy from the run and the adrenaline pumping through her veins. She started to slowly move, I think she was getting ready to peek out at me.

**Bella's pov**

The foot steps changed, they were heavy and coming faster at first when they were farther away. Now they were light barely there, and very much closer...then they just stopped. I tried to let my breath out slowly, with no luck. I needed air. my heart was still thundering in my chest. I had to get away. I couldn't just sit here and wait for death. I peeked out of my hiding place slowly, as quietly as I could. I did not see anything at first but then I noticed her. Not a monster wolf or Laurent it was a girl, and not just any girl, Leah Clearwater. I knew her threw my dad. We had dinner with them a few times growing up. she used to be pretty nice although lately she had seemed bitter and angry. She was looking right at me at first but then glanced away and around the trees all at once like she was trying to act like she didn't see me there. I crept out of my hiding place and darted my eyes around too. I was trying to see through the trees at all the hidden terrors that haunted the area, but I saw and heard nothing.

"How did you get here? What is going on?" This was like a bad dream. Girls don't just walk around the forest aimlessly running into each other.

She smiled at me a stated frankly " I walked. how else would I have gotten here?" I was relieved at first because she must have known were here is and could help me get home. Then I remembered how conveniently, coincidental this all was, and it crept me out a little. I will have to think on this later though, and tucked it away for now.

"What are you doing here, and why are you hiding under tree roots? What is wrong with you for anyway, you look like you have seen a ghost or something?" she asked me while picking at her nails.

I frantically thought of a cover story "I was out looking for a place, a meadow." I stated. "I found it, but there was someone else there, he was scary, then I saw those bears...except they weren't bears they were humongous wolves, so I ran and hid. Now I am here" it sounded lame to me so it must have sounded pathetic to her too.

"that doesn't make since, Bella." she exclaimed, she looked a little annoyed like she knew I was lying. "you came out here, all by your self to look for a meadow in the middle of the forest, and you saw a guy? and huge wolves. wait I heard about those wolves. did they see you?"

"no, I don't think they cared about me, they chased after the man though. They were terrifying. I have been to the meadow before with my boyfriend, well, ex boyfriend now." I looked down at my hands wrapped around my torso tightly. The hole was there in my chest. It did not feel like it was getting bigger though, like it was sterile and dead. Or maybe sedated. "He wasn't there of course, I just wanted to feel him with me again" I mumbled, so low I thought maybe she didn't here that part.

"your boyfriend?" she asked me. "oh yea I remember charlie, saying something about you dating Edward Cullen, and they left town right?"

"yea, they left. We broke up" she must have heard me then, I hugged my middle tighter, I thought I was going to crumble up. I did not want to think about him. Or the emptiness, much less talk about him. I wanted to see him feel him, be complete again. But like the last several months, he wasn't there. I guess in a way I did see a ghost, that is all I would ever see of him from now on. He wasn't coming back. None of them were. They left me, like a rejected piece of trash. Without a second thought. I gave them everything and they tossed it out and forgot about me. They did not care enough to stay. He did not care enough to work this out, or let me make my own mind about our relationship.

"I guess he really is gone, huh?" I asked myself out loud. I took a deep breath as this realization started to overwhelm my head for the first time. He wasn't coming back. I almost died. and for what? Nothing, he was nothing now. I had to get passed this nothing, this void...before it did consume my life.

Leah, gave me a gentle smile and pulled my hand away from my stomach "Bella, I know how you feel, I know what you are going through. It's like you can't talk about it...you can't think about him, you don't know how you can go on with out him. Like you will stop existing if you don't have him with you. I have lived with what you are feeling right now, but girl listen" then she pressed my hand to my own heart, it had slowed a bit but was still pounding in my chest. She tilted her head a bit to look in my eyes, while hold my hand to my heart "this is real Bella, you are real, and you are letting this guy, who doesn't want you, destroy your life. Do you want him to have that control on you. He doesn't care for you, Bella. Don't make him have too, he won't, he won't do it right, you will never be happy. You will never be able to live again. You have to let him go. Be your own person. Bella, look at me! You have to live for you. you have to love yourself! You are your own keeper now, you are strong enough to get past this guy."

Her words stung, it was like a knife cutting out the dead pieces of my heart. But, as I listened to her words, she was replacing the dead pieces with her strength. filling my heart with her courage...I let my arm fall to my side and took a breath. I raised my head slightly and looked in her eyes. All I could think about was, wow, she is right...I can't let him tear me up anymore...

"how?" I had to ask, she had the answer I needed. She had the strength I needed. The power to heal was there within my grasp, I just had to find it and understand it. I definitely wanted it, more than anything.

"One day at a time, Bella. Lets go, we need to get back before it gets dark." She smiled a vibrant smile, it reached her eyes and I knew she was trying to be sincere and helpful. We started tramping through the damp foliage. "you know, Bella?" She asked, "if you took some classes and learned to defend your self it would help... you need an outlet, and frankly, girl you could use some muscles and a little grace to."

I laughed a little. I did need to learn balance. I tripped over air on good days. "sure Leah!" He probably did not realize it now, but her being here gave me hope. Like someone was looking out for me.

"You know Bella, I was thinking about a trip to Port Angeles soon, you should go with me. we could get are hair done and go shopping." She was pushing it now, I did want to change, but I really did hate shopping. Was every girl in the world addicted to shopping except me.

"I'll think about it Leah." I stated, I did like being around her. Just like Jacob radiated sun and warmth, she radiated, strength and hope for me. I wanted more of this, even if it meant a trip to go shopping. I could handle it. I liked this new Leah, and I need to find the source of her strength. Learn how she got by with half of herself gone.

We had finally made it back to my truck, so I offered her a ride home. She declined, but told me she would call me about our trip and she wasn't taking no for an answer. Oh well, it would make Charlie happy if I hung out with more friends, anyway. Leah was way more tolerable than Jessica any day!

I smiled again and told her I would see her later. she was going to be an awesome friend! I needed her.

**Leah's pov**

I watched the truck turn the corner out of sight, with Bella tucked away safe inside it. She really was fragile, like porcelain, but somewhere inside her was a strong girl screaming to get out. she would be all right. We would make good friends, I think. I got undressed and tied my dress to my leg again so I could morph into a wolf once more. As soon as I changed I could here the guys whooping and yelping there victory cry. I was in a better mood now so I let what occurred on my end pass through my head, mostly for Jake's sake, but also to update them.

"Leah?" Sam thought to me. "if you really need a day off, go ahead and take the rest of tonight and tomorrow off." I whooped then, too! This was huge! I started sprinting to the house, while watching visions of the vampire being torn to pieces and visions from Jake, of Bella, after a make over by me! It was really funny if you saw it from a happier point of view. The guys were all celebrating while the embers were fading out from the vampire bonfire they created and they did not need my help anymore so I started heading home for a little, well earned break.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**I do not own Twilight! The powers that be, won't give it to me!**

_Hello readers, I know you are out there, please review this story, I need the encouragement. Or guidance if you think you need to leave guidance also! Just be nice and review please! It takes 5 seconds of your time and means the world to me! Thank you to my wonderful betas, lovelovelove22 and RyK77, who are taking turns making my terrible mind dribble into something wonderful!_

**Bella's pov**

The drive home did not take long at all. Jake and I had been taking this route a lot lately while hiking to find the meadow, so I was used to the green overcast road leading me toward my home. It did not keep me from wondering though.

Jake. What was I going to do about him. I loved being his friend! It's like he was made to be my friend. No matter what we ever did, we never fought or annoyed each other. We just coincided. Knowing when the other needed to talk or stay quiet, needed space or a friend to lean on, or just needed to hang out or go crazy. It's just that lately he has been wanting more than friendship. I really am not ready for that, but I can't lose him. After foiling his advances the last time though, he won't even talk to me. Plus he even has his dad lying for him. He can't still be sick. He is just sore with me. I should try calling him again when we get home.

Leah now, she is like a wild child. Full of energy. Despite my hating shopping, which I really really do, I am looking forward to a day with her. She does want to give me a makeover though. Even though I think I look fine, she can't do that bad on me, she looks really down to earth herself. I grabbed the end of my hair with my hand and twisted it in my fingers. I did need a trim, but a complete new style...I am not so sure about. This could be something scary. I'm not into change, but it might be good for me. I just need to do it. What will it hurt anyway. We should just go for it, while it is still the weekend. It probably won't be like Alice's trips anyway. She most likely doesn't have that kind of money lying around.

Alice on the other hand, she said I was like her sister. Despite everything, she abandoned me too. They all left me. Without so much as a farewell. But Alice's leaving hurt about as much as Edward's leaving. Just about everything I own is from her and her shopping addiction. Well guess what, I don't need her clothes. If she doesn't want me I don't need her fashion either. She chose not to be here. Well I choose not to wear her clothes anymore, they were all really ridiculous anyway. Way more than I ever cared to be about. They are just clothes, they may have cost enough to feed a small country, but they are just clothes, and they remind me of Alice and the other Cullens every time I open my closet. And I need to get past all of them and get rid of all of it.

I pulled into my driveway, and Charlie was already home. I hope he hasn't been home long. I went through the door and heard voices. Harry Clearwater was here to.

"Dad, I am home." I said a little over my normal voice.

"Bells' is that you?" he must have been surprised at the lift in my voice.

"Who else would call you dad?" I asked, while laughing at him. "did y'all eat yet?"

"yea, Isabella. We had fried fish and chips. There is some in the fridge if you want my lunch for tomorrow" He said laughing also.

"Dad I will find something. You can keep your lunch. How are you Mr. Clearwater?" I said.

"I am fine Isabella, we had a good trip to the water today. Caught two good size Salmon. They are in the ice chest if you want to have a look." Harry proclaimed with a little bit of pride in his tone.

"Umm, no offense sir, but I don't want to see any dead fish." I said as he did his belly laugh. "Hey, I ran into Leah today" I said to change the subject. "We had a good chat. We are supposed to go shopping soon."

Harry perked up "you ran into Leah? And had a good talk! Well that is more than her mother and I have had in several weeks. Where did you see her?"

"I went for a hike in the forest...and she was..." I did not have time to finish because Charlie had flames shooting out of his ears while he interrupted me.

"Bella, you were hiking? Alone! I thought we already talked about those bears out there. What were you thinking?" Typical dad, I was fine but he was still worried.

"Dad, I had to go by myself. Jake is still sick and I wasn't alone the whole time, I was with Leah" I said in my defense, purposely leaving out the part about the bear-wolves or Laurent of course.

"What are your plans for this evening?" I asked to change the subject and distract them while I pulled out some leftover enchilada casserole to heat up for supper.

"We are watching the game bells...what are you going to do?" Dad asked me.

"I dunno Dad, Leah is going to call. Maybe get some wash done. I really don't have set plans yet though." Just then in my head I decided to call Jacob and if he did not answer I was going to drive up there to see him. This madness has gone on long enough. I wanted my friend back!

Charlie and Harry stood up and headed to the living room to watch the game. Harry held onto his belly like he had eaten too much and Charlie undid his belt. "Hey Bella, no more trips to the forest alone...got it?" It was more like a question, but I knew this was him putting his foot down, and it was one thing I was willing to agree upon right now.

After they left, I stared at the phone while eating. If I called and he did not answer I had already decided to drive over there, but what if he did answer? What if Billy answered and lied to me again? What should I say to him, now? I should just call and let it come to me. I wonder if Jake will notice my new found courage to let go of all things 'Cullen.' But that's only if I can get past Billy. I might not be able to get to Jake by phone, but it's worth a try.

I walked over to the old fashioned phone hanging on the wall and picked up the black receiver. I listened for the dial tone then quickly dialed his number for about the billionth time.

One ring...two rings...three rings...four rings...on and on it rang till I let the receiver fall back on the hook. I guess I have a road trip to go on. I washed my dishes quickly then ran upstairs to change. I opened my closet and found my old pair of jeans. The only pair I still had before Alice's wardrobe makeover. I grabbed my Phoenix Arizona t-shirt and then ran down to grab a trash bag. First things first. I started pulling items out of my closet with both arms and stuffing them into the bag. About half of them still had tags because I had refused to wear them at all. The huge yard bag filled up quickly and I tied it off and started dragging it to my truck. I was planning on leaving it at the small thrift shop at the La Push res. That way I could just be rid of it all without having to waste all that money. I new that the clothes were very expensive. Alice only bought expensive stuff. I knew I would not want the money either, so I wasn't going to sell any of it, just give it away. I yanked at the knot and lifted it into the truck. It was huge but I managed to get it into the bed, with a lot of extra work. Then I was on my way.

On the drive toward La Push I debated on whether I should drop the clothes off first or go to Jake's first. Deciding on the clothes first, then Jake's, I turned right toward town instead of left, but then proceeded to slam on my breaks after almost hitting Leah.

I leaned out my window after she noticed it was me "Leah what in the world are you doing in the road, didn't you mom teach you it isn't safe to play in traffic?" I laughed and swung my passenger door open clumsily, after noticing her heading toward my ancient monster of a truck.

She hopped in beside me with a crooked grin. "Shut up woman! you don't know how happy I am right now Bella, I don't have anything to do and I can wonder around free as a bird!"

Her hair was a lot tidier now, and she was definitely cleaner than before. She had on a pair of dark jeans with a faded Grateful Dead tee on and Converse tennis shoes. She actually looked her age right now, and not the 10 years older she looked earlier.

"What you up to Bella?" she asked me. "Are we still on for tomorrow, or were you trying to finish me off so you won't have to go?" she said, laughing hysterically.

"You know me, whatever works, right?" I said teasing her back.

I had never seen Leah this way, she seemed relaxed and at peace. Not broken, but healing like earlier today. She then proceeded to pull out a small flask and take a big gulp. Which quickly answered my questions. She was blitzed. I really didn't mind much, I knew a lot of teens experimented with alcohol, and she had a lot to deal with if her heartbreak was half the size of mine. I laughed at her joke, as she tilted the flask toward me, and grinned again. I held my hand up for her to stop and told her I was driving, I did not need it right now.

"What's in the bag?" she asked me. I guess the bag was hard to miss.

"Well I figured since I was getting some new stuff tomorrow, I would let go of the stuff I don't want or need. I was bringing it down to the thrift shop."

She looked at me speculatively, then did a lopsided grin. "Hey you mind if I have a look before it goes. I could really use some new stuff. I glanced her way, although she was a good foot taller than me, she was as thin as me, so it would probably work out.

"Sure Leah, have a look, take what you want. Hand out the rest if you like. I really don't care were it ends up. I just want it gone." I said with finality.

She grinned, then seconds after her eyes bugged out and she put her arm on the dash and put her other hand on her mouth. I slammed on the breaks. Without her having to ask and as soon as she got the door ajar, she started puking her dinner out or whatever that was. I had to turn my head so I wouldn't see it, but I did feel the squeamishness in my own stomach as it lurched at the smell. I covered my hand with my nose while closing my eyes. I frantically searched my brain for something to think about that would not have me concentrating on Leah's dirty work. It was completely gross. I suddenly thought of soap. And pictured my self washing dishes and the smell of the dish detergent wafting up to my nose. I guess because that is what my hands still smelled like, it worked and I was soon back to normal, and so was Leah apparently since I heard her pull the door shut again.

"Sorry bout that girl, I guess I have had too much to drink tonight. Can you take me to my place." she slurred.

I started the truck back up with a sputter and a rumble, and we headed to herplace. When we got there I grabbed the huge bag and hauled it out of the truck.

"Hey Leah, are you going to make it in alright?" I asked her a bit concerned.

"Sure, I will be fine. You can just leave that bag there. I will grab it." She hopped down out of the truck and stumbled toward me. She picked up the garbage bag like it was filled with feathers and looked back at me with a grin.

My mouth must have been gaping open at her strength. The last time I saw that kind of strength was when I was with the Cullens. Before I could comment though, she interrupted my thought.

"So I will see you tomorrow around 9 then?" she slurred at me.

"I nodded agreement and then she was gone. I was still puzzled about the demonstration she gave me as I climbed into my truck, backed out, and headed to Jake's.

At Jake's the house was dark. I was beginning to doubt they were really home at all, much less sick. Too sick to call me back. I headed up to the door and knocked twice. I waited with no answer, so I knocked again. After a second wait and no answer I tried the knob. It was unlocked. I normally would not just barge in, but this home was like a second shelter to me. I had been going here so often lately that it did not feel wrong to open the door. At first the house was empty, but then I saw Billy rolling his way out of the kitchen and into the living room area.

"Bella, what are you doing here? Jake is sleeping. You really shouldn't disturb him." he said to me a little too tensely.

"Billy, I am sorry but I don't believe you anymore. I need to see Jake. So if you would just excuse me." And I quickly skipped past him before he could block the small hall toward Jake's room. I did not knock on the door, just opened it. As soon as the door opened the smell of Jake, musky pine needles and sun, hit me like a freight train. It made me smile and sigh. As my eyes adjusted to the dim light, I did notice Jake snoozing on his bed. If you wanted to call it a bed. His feet hung off the end, and I knew if he rolled even a little he would hit the floor. It was more like a cot than a bed. I wedged a spot for me to sit beside him and reached out and touched his hair. He had cut it off. Really short. It looked like he did it himself, but the rugged scraggy look suited him well. I ran my finger from his forehead to his nape. He was still warm but looked completely healthy. Maybe even stronger than last time if that was possible. My ministrations made him stir in his sleep, but he did not wake. He just smiled a little and mumbled something I could not make out.

"Jake?" I asked quietly. "Jake its me, your Bells. I miss you so much, Jake. Please don't shut me out of your life. Please give me another chance to be your friend. I am really trying harder than ever before to get past my past. Please Jake. Forgive me."

He turned his head slightly, I could tell he was still sleeping. He must really be tired. But then he started talking all of a sudden "Bella? Bella? Run. Don't talk to him, just run. We will take care of him my love. Run. I'm sorry Bella."

I gasped. What was he talking about? He was still sleeping. How could he know about today. He must have been talking about today, right? I was completely confused by all this. He turned his head back, and I gently got up and left his room. Of course Billy was waiting for me out in the living room. He was watching the game on mute, while reading the closed captioning. He looked up with a smirk in his eye.

"I told you he was sleeping" he stated a little too sharply.

"Billy, if you would let me talk to him, or even pass on my messages, I would not have had to come over and see for myself. Half the times you don't even answer the phone" I blurted out a little too angrily.

"Isabella! What am I supposed to do, if he doesn't want to talk to you, he doesn't want to talk to you!" he blurted back.

"Billy, you are lying! He wouldn't just stop talking to me. That isn't like Jacob. Why don't you just tell me what is going on?" I was yelling now. Tears started to sting my eyes. Why would he do this to me. Why would Jake avoid me, after how close we have gotten? "You know what. I won't bother you again. How is that. If Jake wants to contact me he will." His smirking face just fell then.

"Isabella, it is probably better off if you do that. Don't count on Jake calling you either." he said.

I looked at him in disbelief and headed to the door. Just as I got the door open I heard "Bella wait" coming from Jake's room, but I just kept going. The tears were streaming down my face now, and I had to get away from all this. I did not want more excuses or lies. Especially from Jake, himself. I ran, stumbling to my truck and practically ripped the door open trying to get in. I started the truck and back out, only allowing myself to look back at my long time refuge as I was pulling away. I saw Jake pull the door open and run outside just to stop on the porch, and I was gone...

I cried all the way home, only stopping right before I got there to dry my eyes so Charlie wouldn't stop me on my way in. I ran inside, yelled at Charlie that I was home again, and ran upstairs before he could stop me. I shut the door to my room and locked it before finally giving in to the tears again. I changed into my bed clothes and crawled into bed, skipping my nightly bathroom duties for the evening in fear of running into Charlie. I cried myself to a restless slumber.

_I was dreaming, I knew I was dreaming because I was back in the meadow. I would never go back there willingly, so it must have been a dream. __I was standing there trying to remember why I was there__, when I saw on the other side of the field my Edward. __In all his shining glory coming closer to me. He was talking to me. __Trying to tell me why he left, but all I could really hear was my heart thundering.__ He came closer, about ten feet away, and then stopped. I looked at his feet first. __Trying to control my heart. __His shoes were covered in mud. __As my eyes made th__eir way up his body, I noticed all of his clothes were dirty and ragged, covered in mud and a dark coppery color. __On closer inspection__, I knew the dark copper color was dried blood, and my stomach lurched. __I looked into his beautiful chiseled face and saw staring back at me his glorious crooked grin and dark red __fiery eyes._

_He started coming closer again. __He was licking his lips and saying something__, but I still could not hear him. __Even at this close a range. __I reached out to take his hand__, but then the wolves came back. __I looked back and forth between a now angry Edward who was running toward me again and the wolves. __Edward reached me first, spun me around so fast I got dizzy__, and held my back to him. I could feel his cool breath tickle my neck, but then flashes of his angry red eyes started blurring my vision. __I tried to cry out. __Then I finally did he__ar him._

"_She's mine. Stay back. She's mine. I held back far too long. I will have this. She smells so good doesn't she?" he growled._

_He wasn't talking to me though, he was speaking to the wolves. __They slowed the__ir approach. __The big russet one whimpered a low sad whine.__ I looked into his eyes again and gasped in shock. Nobody had those eyes. Nobody but my Jake. My sun..._

_**please review people! if for nothing else to tell me hi, and that you are having a great day! reviews are all I get so let me have a few seconds of your minds!** thankyou for reading!_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Ok, you know the drill readers, I tell you I do not own twilight or the characters then you think, duh, I know this already, why do you keep telling me this. Then I sigh and you start reading the chapter! **

**Big huge thank you to my awesome beta, RyK77! She is the best ever!**

**Previous chapter**

_. __They slowed the__ir approach. __The big russet one whimpered a low sad whine.__ I looked into his eyes again and gasped in shock. Nobody had those eyes. Nobody but my Jake. My sun..._

**Bella's POV**

I shot up out of my bed blinking back the bright morning sun and thinking _what the hell was that? Jake was a wolf? What the hell? _I mean I knew something was up with Jacob, but I figured it was good genes. I mean he did grow almost 2 feet in a year. And all those muscles he had. Wow, could my Jake be a wolf boy? Oh who cares, he is done with me now anyway, right?

I quickly went to the bathroom to do my bathroom ritual. I had a day of shopping to do. Ugh, but shopping with Leah? Now that has potential! I got ready and climbed into the shower. The water was very warm and I let it spray on my hair and run down my back in long streams. I bowed my head forward and closed my eyes, but just as I closed them pictures of Jake as a boy then as a wolf started flashing through my head. Poor Jake, it must be the answer. Why else would he suddenly be so distant from me. You know this whole time I have been focusing on Jake, but there were other wolves. There were several in the meadow. That means there are several other wolf boys…I started washing my long hair with my strawberry shampoo letting the fragrance penetrate into my senses and calm me. I wonder what Leah knew about all this. She appeared out of nowhere yesterday very conveniently. Maybe I will ask her today. Maybe

After showering, I quickly toweled off and ran a comb through my hair. I threw on the same jeans I had on last night and a new but equally ancient t-shirt. This one had a picture of the bright sun shining down on the Grand Canyon. Another ancient relic from my childhood with my mom. I slipped on a pair of comfortable Converse and went downstairs to eat breakfast.

After eating breakfast, I filled up on gas for the trip and headed to La Push. Leah was on her porch waiting for me. It looked like she was making good use of the clothes I passed on to her. She had on a pair of designer skinny jeans with a red and blue top and some red flats. She jogged down the stairs and pulled my rusty old truck door open to hop in.

"Hey Bella, I noticed you did not have a stereo in here so I brought my IPod and speakers. So what kinda tunes do you like?" She was beaming with pride at her intelligence.

I wasn't too excited about music at all, but I thought I should try, staying true to my new master plan of getting over the big E. "I dunno Leah, I haven't listened to much music at all lately. Maybe something upbeat. Not mushy though please! I could do this. I told myself.

"Well, how would you like 80's then? I have Heart, Guns 'n Roses, Poison, Aerosmith even a little bit of Cyndi Lauper and Joan Jette. What ya think?" she asked me in kind of a pleading tone.

I couldn't help laughing at this Leah. She was like an advent wreath, where you get a new surprise every time you open up a new door. "Sure Leah let's do this" I proclaimed as I was pulling out of her drive, and headed toward town.

"So?" she asked me "are we getting our hair done first, then maybe lunch and some shopping afterwards. Although I can't see how I could use anything else with the stuff you threw out yesterday, those were amazing clothes in there…with tags" she accused me while looking suspiciously out of the corner of her eye, while tapping her hand to _Bad Reputation. _

"I know Leah, I just don't need the reminder of those clothes. Anyway they aren't really my style." I stated. "I thought about the hair thing, and I don't really want to get it cut off. I like my long hair, and anyway isn't long hair supposed to be stylish now" I sighed. I had already guessed it would be useless to plead my side of this, but I was going to put an effort in, it was my hair anyway.

"That's fine Bella, just get a new look. Keep your hair if you like it, but get a look that is different. Let your hair describe you not hide you, you know?" she surprised me with that.

I thought about that for a bit as we were nearing our destination. She had made appointments at a small salon, really a nobody salon but it would do. The salon had posters in the window for different products and haircuts, all too wild for me. I walked in and looked around. There were three booths, a small washing station and some hair dryer chairs. The salon was done in all black and white with animal print décor scattered everywhere. We signed our names on a clipboard and sat in the waiting area. It consisted of a worn out zebra print rug and an old black couch with a coffee table in the middle that held hair magazines and books. I picked up a magazine, and Leah scooted closer so we could look together. Since her hair was cropped short she would need a style that could fix all that, while I was looking at longer styles. I flipped through the pages not really seeing anything. Until I got near the end. It had pages with some rock star looking girls done up in leather and make up. But the middle girl had her hair in layers going down her back. Not like my hair with long layers toward the end. This cut had shorter layers framing her face in really choppy sections. It was dark hair but there were some heavy blond pieces on the top making the darker pieces look darker. I stared at the picture, because although this girl had similar features to me, she really looked… well, bad ass. Like nobody should mess with her. I decided I wanted her hair. It wasn't really a Goth look, but it was something different. I showed Leah what I like with a gasp from her.

"Are you serious Bella, that is awesome! You could really rock that look!" She was grinning from ear to ear.

I stared at the picture, memorizing her style, makeup and attitude. It was perfect. Very attractive yet very unapproachable. Just then, a middle age lady came up to us. She was thin but dressed way too young for her age, with a short baby doll type dress on and heels. She smiled and asked if we were ready. I showed her the picture. "Can you perform miracles?" I asked her, finally accepting the picture and grinning at my new found courage. She smiled back and we went to the chair.

She left me there and I took a breath. Leah had decided on leaving her hair the same color but getting some light layers with an even cut to neaten up the job her kitchen shears left!

**Leah's pov**

Bella sat in the salon chair gripping the arm rest, but she was grinning. I was just going to get my hair straightened out. No need for anything else I was already perfect. My Project Bella was going well though. Bella's new hair…check. Bella wearing makeup and getting new clothes was next on the agenda. I mean really, if she was going to hang with me she had to look good.

When the lady came back out with a bowl of hair lightener I grinned at Bella. "It's now or never girl. You sure you doing this?" There wasn't a chance I was going to let her back out now, but I thought I would rile her up a bit for the fun of it. I saw Bella gulp and swallow, then smile back. The hair stylist laid out some foils with the bowl and color brush, and sectioned off Bella's hair. She then began to apply the lightener to her hair. I started chuckling when Bella closed her eyes.

"Bella it's just color it won't kill ya!" I stated still laughing at her. I grabbed the magazine she was clutching in her arms and pissed off the lady doing my hair. She let out an exasperated sigh and told me to please be still. I smirked at her and looked down at the picture. Mocking her motherly lecture with my own high pitched "will you please be still." The lady in the picture was really bad ass. "Hey Bella isn't this Meagan Fox?" she is hot even to woman! Way to go on picking this one!" She had long hair with a lot of layers all over her hair, but not mullet looking either. The fringe around her face really was awesome and the swoopy bangs would really open up Bella's face, making it harder to hide behind her hair. The highlights would just lighten up her hair enough to see the textures and movement she would have going on everywhere. She really did nail the perfect look for her I thought.

After the lady rinsed out the color, she turned Bella around so she could not see her hair. I thought that was a smart move because the layers would take off a lot of weight, but it would make it look like she was really cutting a bunch off. My hair was done now, and I was really rocking the look. I reapplied a little makeup and watched Bella as her hair went flying. She looked a little pale, but her hair was really looking awesome!

After her blow dry and style, we were headed to lunch. We went to a little bistro a few blocks over and both ordered sandwiches. Of course mine was a foot long sub and hers was pita bread stuffed with something that did not look filling or appetizing. I scarfed my lunch down quickly as we talked and laughed.

After joking about the waitress on crack that was helping us, Bella frowned a second. "What's the matter Bella? You realize your sandwich really is gross" I kidded her.

"No Lee." as she had been calling me a lot today. "I want to ask you something, but I don't want you to get mad. Or whatever. We are friends right?"

"Sure Bella, whatcha got?" I asked puzzled.

"Well it was confusing at first, I mean the stories about bears. I remember seeing a wolf in the woods after Edward left me, I saw wolves yesterday too. And my dreams. I think the Legends are true Leah. I think there are some kinda wolf people running around and that Jake is one of them." She let out a huge breath of air like she had been waiting a lifetime to get out what she said. Then just to put the nail in my coffin further, she mumbled "I also think you are one." She looked down, trying to make her customary curtain with her hair, but it didn't fall right anymore and she started twisting her napkin nervously.

"Bella." I don't know what to say. I mean, I can't say well shit…what do you want." I slammed my hand on the table a little too hard. Why the hell is she asking this crap. I wasn't supposed to say anything. I was definitely going to get shit from Sam no matter what I say. She already put everything together though. As far as I am concerned she already knows, enough to know the rest. The guys will never agree to fill in the gaps though. She is the vamp girl. They all think she is crazy. She hasn't told anybody about the Cullens though. I think she will keep the secret for us if we just ask her to. "Bella I like you, I think you and I are from the same cloth. Like we both have this joke going on with our life, but I can't tell you this. I just. Well you need to not say anything to anyone about this. Do you hear me? I mean it." I glared at her. Did I even make sense now. I could see her brain working like clockwork. Putting everything together and digesting what I said. Jake would have just told her took the crap from Sam. I can't though. I mean what will I say? Just leave it alone.

She glared right back. "I wouldn't tell anybody. I just wanted to know. I think y'all are good though. Right?"

"Bella" I softened my tone. "I am not going to say if you are right or wrong. I am just going to say this..If there were wolf people as you say, from the res. They would be nice. They would not hurt people. They would be there to protect people like you. I also think you need to talk to Jake about the rest of this. Not me."

She nodded in agreement. "Sorry Leah, I don't want to get you in trouble. I just well, never mind. Let's go." She sighed while making a smile that did not reach her eyes. I pointed out where we were headed to next. It was a strip of thrift stores that I frequented a lot. They usually had awesome stuff in there and were pretty reasonably priced.

Bella parked her tank and we grabbed our purses and headed to the first one. As soon as we walked in, a hippy looking lady in her mid twenties greeted us. I pulled Bella to the racks, making fun of the free love lady who was running this shop. She dressed just like a teen in the 60's, although she must have been 45 or 50 years old. She was very grey headed with long stringy hair. I snuck another peak at her with Bella and she held up a piece sign with her left fingers. We both snickered at the ridiculousness of this woman as we browsed the racks. I pulled out a few things and glanced at her finds. She had an arm load of tops and jeans in her hands. I smiled as she hefted up her finds and we headed to the changing room. On the way there, I stopped at another rack and grabbed several pair of cutoff shorts.

We agreed to try on the things and then show each other what we liked. When she came out of the changing room she had on a pair of low rise skinny jeans with holes and worn places all over them. She had paired it with a black baby doll style top with spaghetti straps.

"Girl if you had some red heels you would be on fire in that outfit."

We continued trying things on and sorting through the huge pile we had. After that shop we went to three others, repeating the same thing until the last shop we entered. Bella was a bit tired but happy now at all her finds and the little bits of money she spent finding them. As we entered, the sales lady greeted us and showed us to a rack. As soon as we got to the rack, Bella snagged a pair of leather pants. They were skinny pants also, and low rise, but finding a pair of leather pants like that was rare. I grinned at her jealously, but I knew I would probably phase and tear them up the first time I wore them, so I let her claim them. We left the store in high spirits and head back to my place. The music did not seem to bother her so much on the ride home. Upon arriving back at my place I invited her in and helped her haul in some of the things she had bought. She was going home looking hot. Since the clothes were obviously recently washed, it would be ok to wear them now. We picked out the leather pants and a pair of low heels she agreed to try. They were okay but not high like I would have liked her to have. They would do for now though. The leather pants had the wild look to them that she wanted, and as she turned I noticed how they sat snugly on her butt and hips just right to make any guy drool at her goods. I showed her some tips on makeup that would be quick and efficient for her and insisted she get what she needs and wear it often to complete her new look.

When she left our house, she was looking really hot and so was I. We sat on the porch and chatted for a while, soaking in the last of the day, even though it lacked sun or shine. We were laughing and joking about hanging out again. Bella and I were just getting up to load up her truck and say our goodbyes when I saw a group of guys coming our way….


	4. Chapter 4

**Another disclaimer: I do not own anything twilight related.**

**I want to thank my wonderful, amazing, genius, Beta, RyK77 for helping me make this chapter great and esp. for walking through my very first lemony scene and helping me make it sound the way it should! She is amazing! **

Previous chapter: When she left our house she was looking really hot and so was I we sat on the porch and chatted for a while. Soaking in the last of the day, even though it lacked sun or shine. We were laughing and joking about hanging out again. Bella and I were just getting up to load up her truck and say our good byes when I saw a group of guys coming our way….

**Chapter 4 **

**Bella's pov. **

Well, here goes nothing. I thought as I noticed a group of 5 guys coming this way. They were all shirtless, with an assorted variety of shorts on, and shoeless. They were also really buff. All of them looked like they spent half of their lives in the gym with sculpted arms, toned and chiseled abs, was not with them. I assumed this was the pack, although there were a few more than I counted in the field if I added Jake and Leah.

I started fidgeting with my shirt for a brief moment before noticing my actions. I immediately stopped and crossed my arms over my chest instead. Leah did the same.

"What do y'all want?" Leah asked roughly, with a little smirk at the end.

"Give it a rest Leelee" Seth laughed. "I told the guys to come over. Mom was making brownies for us and we were coming over for a snack."

Now that he mentioned it, I did remember smelling brownies inside. I could not relax though. All the guys were staring at me. Some of them were openly ogling me. I cleared my throat and thrust my chin up. "Do y'all got a problem?" I asked tersely, making the guys suddenly look around or down at the ground nervously, although one of the guys I did not know stared right at me with angry eyes.

"What the hell is she doing here?" he asked Leah while never taking his eyes off of me.

I unfolded my arms and ran one hand through my hair, making it bounce up a little in the process, causing an almost wild untamed look. "Who the hell are you? And what is your problem?" I asked while sauntering forward to stand by Leah, in the process making my hips sway a little. I noticed Quill's eyes ogle my hips as I walked over and then move his eyes up to my chest that I had just uncovered. I knew I did not have a substantial amount to eye ball in that area, but apparently there was a suitable amount for him. It made me uneasy to watch the wantonness in his eyes, however it also made me feel powerful and a little wicked, almost rebellious, knowing I did that to such an obviously attractive guy.

"I invited Bella over, Jared, obviously. Why else would she be here?" Leah said with an authoritative voice. She took a small step forward as if to kind of stand between him and me.

At this moment, Quill looked up from his self appointed job of trying to undress me with his eyes, glancing back and forth between me and Leah. "Cool, you mean y'all were like hanging out or something?" he said with a really bright and playful grin on his face.

I could not resist smiling back at him. It was contagious, and I really was grateful for a friendly face in this group of guys.

At that moment, Sam stepped forward and, looking back at the other guys, he said "Lets, go in and have those brownies. My mouth is watering at the smell." The guys all looked at him as he started to walk forward.

"Go ahead" Seth said, "I'll be inside in a minute." Sam, Jared and the other mystery guy started to walk away as Quill hung back a minute.

"I am going to hang out here with Seth for a minute." Quill said, making no move to follow the other guys and resuming his previous job of gazing unashamedly at my girly parts.

"Hey, Bells I need to chat with my brother a minute. I will be right back ok?" she asked me looking back and forth between me and Quill nervously.

"Oh I will be fine Leah…don't worry about me." I said as I looked over at her, tossing my hair over my shoulder a bit. I watched her and Seth walk away toward the woods. I started heading out toward the road, swaying my hips slightly as I moved forward. I glanced back to see if Quill was still looking, and I made a jerking movement with my eyes letting him subtly know that he could walk with me. I decided at that moment to live in the now and not think about tomorrow or yesterday until later. Damn the consequences. Just this once I could let go of my inhabitations and live my age.

"Where you headed?" he questioned me as he hoofed it over to my side.

"I thought about taking a walk toward the beach." I suggested as I kept strolling forward watching the ground slyly so I would not trip.

"So" he asked me, "what were you and Leah doing today?" he asked, obviously trying to make a conversation with me.

"Oh, we went shopping and to get our hair done…you know boring girly stuff." I said as alluringly as I could while fanning my new hairdo over my shoulder.

He took a deep breath and reached up to caress the ends of my hair in his fingers. "I noticed you looked different tonight." he said huskily as he slowly let out his breath and let his fingers linger on my shoulder. He then brushed the tips of his hand down my bare arm as he dropped his hand down, causing chills to run up my arm, down my back and to my core.

"So, you like my new look?" I whispered as we neared the boulders on the edge of the pebbled beach.

"Damn girl, do you have to ask? You are looking unbelievably hot tonight!" He sighed as if he was holding back a deep secret.

I tried to smile at him erotically with the little experience I had in flirting. I doubt it came out as that. This guy was very tantalizing, making me lose all thought except him and me. I knew it was very wrong in many ways to want him, but that made him even more alluring.

He stepped ahead of me, holding out his hand to help me down the steep rocks to get to the beach. I took his hand and carefully picked out the safest steps toward the bottom. About half way down the 12 foot pile of boulders, I stumbled and started to fall. His strong arms encircled my waist and caught me before I fell.

"Hey Bella, slow down." he whispered in my ear, letting his hot breath tickle my neck. "I wouldn't want you to mess up your new hairdo with an ugly tumble down these rocks."

I blushed a little and looked into his dark brown eyes. He was openly gazing down my shirt now, and from the angle in which he held his arms around me I could tell he had a good look at my black lacy bra. My embarrassment soon went away as I moved my hands tighter around his broad toned and naked shoulders, marveling at the warmth in his skin. It was so hot that he felt like he had a fever, although in every other aspect he looked perfectly fit. He moved his eyes to my face and bent in toward the empty air between us to kiss my neck. One of his arms tightened around my waist while the other brushed against my backside, gently at first, then a little harder cupping the roundness in

I moved my mouth to meet his and I felt his soft, hot full lips meet mine. I quickly opened my mouth to taste his. Our tongues searched and battled for dominance. He pulled his tongue back in his mouth and moved his kiss to my bottom lip, sucking it in just slightly. My desire was burning my core now, and I could feel the wetness between my legs. He growled a little as I moved my hands down his shoulders and then back up again, grabbing his hair and pushing his head back to my neck as I arched it to his mouth. I let out a gasp as he kissed, licked and sucked my neck, making his way to my ear. A new ripple of pleasure ripped through my body as I felt his hand move from my ass to my waist and under my shirt to my back.

"Do you mind me doing this?" he whispered gruntingly in my ear as he nipped at my ear. The desire was filling my body and mind making me weak and senseless. I gasped at his warm hand on my back and nodded my head, not really sure what "this" included but not minding at all and wanting to keep feeling him. He shifted his hold on me while sitting us down firmly on a large boulder beside him, his hand never leaving my back and his mouth never leaving my ear. I felt his other hand move under the thin cover of my shirt and begin to trace patterns on my back again as his mouth found mine again in another sensually deep kiss. I felt the burning trails of his hands as they moved to my waist causing more heat to penetrate my girl parts.

He took a breath and growled again. "You smell so good." he mumbled sexily while never letting his mouth leave mine. One of his beautifully talented hands moved out of my shirt then, and made a fist in my hair. I shifted my weight better so that I was straddling his lap and wrapping my legs around his waist. His hair was so soft and silky between my fingers as I tugged his head toward the spots I wanted his mouth next on my neck. I arched my back pressing my breast into his chest. His remaining hand abandoned the trails they had been making to cup on of them. His finger tips massaged the breast, finding my sensitive nipple and rolling it on the outside of my bra. I moved my hands from his hair to quickly jerk my shirt over my head and toss it to the side. I quickly retrieved his head and pushed it down to kiss my collar bone. I could feel the resistance in his neck as he teased my skin, knowing what I longed for. He moved his other hand to my other breast and quickly started twirling both nipples together, making me whimper and rub my wetness on his lap, longing for more than I knew. My eyes widened as I felt my virginal core tingle, and I realized what I was rubbing against. I let one hand linger down his chest to feel the large hard object causing me so much pleasure, and I moaned with him this time as I felt the size of this object. I found the tip of it and roughly traced circles on it as I gripped his hair again with my other hand and pushed his head down further.

He quickly pushed both panels of my bra off of me, baring my nipples to the cool night air. They were already so hard they could cut glass as his mouth moved to encircle one. His wonderfully hot mouth sucked and nipped on them never leaving the other alone with his hand. I started rocking my bottom back and forth over his thin shorts, rubbing my wetness against his surprisingly thick member. The gasp and moans came regularly as I could feel something build inside of me, making the current run deeper and thicker throughout my being. He gently let go one hand and moved it between my legs to help rub my clit as his mouth and warm breath left trails back and forth all over my naked chest. I arched my back and leaned my neck back to give him better access, as I slowly and pleasurably lost control of all my carefully controlled senses at once, like lighting surging through me. He took a deep breath, shoving my ass harder against his hardness as he too sighed out a huge moaning growl and quickly relaxed against me while moving his hands to hug my back.

I leaned my head against his shoulders and just breathed in his musky aroma as my mind and body slowly came back to the present. "God Quill, that was amazing." I sighed. I gently lifted my head off of him and worked my way out of his grip. I replaced my bra to its correct position. I looked around for my shirt, spying it an arm's reach away.

"Whatcha go and do that for Bella?" Quill asked me in a sexily joking voice.

"Quill that was amazing, but we really better get back, before they send a search party out to find us." I said, pleading him with my eyes to agree. I put my shirt on and started trying to straighten my hair out.

Quill let out a deep sigh "Yeah, we better get back." But then he grabbed my hand and pulled me toward him again for another kiss. I kissed him back longingly, ready for round two, but knowing now that we would be missed. "Quill, we got to go." I pleaded again.

"Damn girl, don't you know how sexy you are? I can't resist." After one more peck, he said "Okay, okay lets go." as he stood up. He helped me up too, then we started picking our way back up the incline hand in hand.

"Hey Quill?" I asked him. "We are friends now right?" I asked. Hoping he would feel the same way and not look too much further into this.

He grinned back at me quickly understanding my drift "Friends with benefits." he smirked while squeezing my hand.

"Yeah" I said. "Secret benefits." I pleaded with my eyes.

"Sure Bells, I get it. Whatever you want it to be. No problem." he said. I could not help but think, though that there was a hint of sadness in his voice or maybe worry. I let it go though, enjoying the walk back while his thumb caressed my hand sending the last lingering chills through me.

**Seth's pov**

"Go ahead" I said. "I'll be inside in a minute." Sam and the guys headed for the front door. Quill hung back a minute. That horny punk was eye balling Bella like a Chinese buffet that was free for the taking. I snickered. "Yea, good luck." I mumbled to Quill too low for Bella to hear.

"I am going to hang out here with Seth for a minute." Quill said making no move to follow the other guys and resuming his previous job of gazing unashamedly at Bella's body.

"Hey, Bells I need to chat with my brother a minute. I will be right back ok?" Leah asked Bella, while looking back and forth between me and Quill nervously. I knew she knew what was going on, but she wouldn't dare say anything. She loved a good bet and we all wanted to get Bella over the bloodsucker guy she had been pining away for.

"Oh I will be fine Leah…don't worry about me" Bella stated a little too cockily. I walked away with Leah snickering a little, that girl ain't going to know what hit her in a minute; Quill's got skills. I laughed even louder at my bad rhyme. I snuck a peek back to see Bella swaying her hips as she walked down our drive, and Quill chasing after her. This was going to be good! Boy, was Jake going to be pissed though.

"Seth?" Leah said interrupting my thoughts. I looked at her face and all the joking dropped as I saw the seriousness of her demeanor. "You know I like Bella. She is really cool, but we have a little problem with her." she said a little uneasily.

"Yeah?" I questioned, really wondering what kind of problem she could be in now. Chances were endless with Bella Swan as I understood, she was always in trouble.

"Well, I am telling you this first because I really want you to back me on this, that no matter what you will help me protect this girl, can you agree? No matter what? And swear on it?"

I nodded my agreement, of course I would watch out for her no matter what, that was kinda our job.

"Ok, this should be ok then, 'cause if you, Jake, possibly Quill now and I back Bella she should be safe" she said starting to ramble.

"Dang girl just tell me what you know already." I said, begging my big sister to spill the beans.

"Well, Seth…umm Bella kinda knows we are wolves" she let out with a sigh, while watching my face for a reaction.

I gasped. My mouth gaping open. Sam was going to kill my only sister, or Bella Swan…possibly both….

**Thankyou for reading my story! I really love all the alerts and favorites I have aquired…you know what would be even better though? Reviews! Yes I really want reviews, next chapter is uploaded and ready to post. Let me see some reviews plz before I post it, I know you are out there reading plz show me a little love! I would love to see 5 reviews..that is only 3 more reviews! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay readers, I don't own twilight or anything about it I just play with these characters and make them do my bidding. **

**I was asked about Bells hooking up with Quill. She isn't hooking up with Quill. Although some things are a little different in my story, Quill will still imprint on Claire. I like to keep the Major story lines in tact, minus Harry Clearwater, I hate how he dies in the story so he is still alive in my world! And some of the wolves that were a bit older aren't so old in this one. Like Leah is a senior with Bella for instance. It just works better for my story. The time frame is still before Bella jumps in the book so Its not yet spring break. But we will get there. Hope all this helps a little. **

**A big huge shout out to my wonderful beta, RyK77 who is still helping me alot! She is amazing! **

**Chapter 5 **

Previous chapter: "Well, Seth…umm Bella kinda knows we are wolves" she let out with a sigh, while watching my face for a reaction.

I gasped. My mouth gaping open. Sam was going to kill my only sister, or Bella Swan…possibly both….

**Leah's pov.**

**For the future I am using italics for thoughts from the wolves.**

At that moment, every single guy stormed out of my house at once. Crap I forgot about the super hearing thing. We weren't far enough away for them to not hear, and they definitely heard. Sam was in the lead, and he was pissed! Seth quickly stepped between myself and Sam.

"What the Hell did you do Leah?" Sam bellowed loud enough for people in Seattle to hear. Just then Seth fazed, growling a warning growl at Sam. Like he could actually take on Sam but his chivalry amazed me.

I squared my small shoulders and stared down Sam. "I did nothing Sam, I told Bella nothing. She put it together herself. If anything it was your carelessness that gave it away"

I yelled back at him. I was very swiftly getting as angry as he was. It was so typical of him to expect me to have given up the secret like a little gossiping school girl. Fuck him! Wait…never mind I have been there and done that.

I could see his anger subside a little, but he was still mad. "How did she say she knew then? If you did not tell her. She was scared as shit yesterday; now she knows. How the fuck do you explain that?"

"I don't know how she found out; she was rambling about you in the woods finding her, and the field, Jacob deserting her or some shit, and the fucking legends. Wait, how does she know our legends anyway? I did not tell her." at this time Sam backed down a bit.

"I guess we need a meeting, then. We are going to have to decide what to do with Bella now." Sam said.

"What do you mean? We aren't going to do anything with Bella. We will protect her like we are supposed to." I stated, fearing for Bella's safety at the same time, not willing to hurt a human at all.

"Seth go phase back. I am not going to hurt your sister. Jared, go grab him some shorts." Sam ordered us around like his slaves. The stupid prick! I hated his authority on us. I hated his control over everything and his madness. Stupid Alpha gene that gave him all the power over us.

"I'll go call Jake. Where is Quill?" The entire pack started snickering at once when Sam asked the last question.

Seth sauntered out of the woods with a big grin on his face. "Well Sam, if Quill has his way no one will have to do anything with Bella because he would have already fucked her brains out."

"Seth, watch your mouth, little brother. If Bella was that easy, Jake would be showing us other thoughts besides her smile and hair over and over again." I spat out, trying to protect my friend but not sure if it was worth it. At that moment, Bella and Quill came into view. They quickly dropped each other's hands, but I noticed before they did. I don't think anybody else noticed their link though. They were smiling and relaxed.

"Sam, I will talk to her. Let me talk to her first." I pleaded. "Go call Jake for our meeting."

I jogged over to Bella and Quill, meeting them before they got much further.

"Hey Leah, what's up?" Quill asked.

"Sam wants to see you." I watched as he left to go see Sam, who was still on the phone talking to the poster child for Xanax, and trying to get him to come out for the meeting. "Hey Bells, we've got to go in and see mom, have dinner and whatever. I will call you later ok?" I asked her, hoping she got the idea to head home.

"Sure Lee, I need to go home anyway, get Charlie's supper together." she told me, still smiling. "Yea, I guess we do need to chat." she told me with a wink, letting me know she had something to share with me. I bet it had something to do with Quill though. I bid her goodbye and watched her grab her things off the porch and head home.

Now for the stupid meeting.

**Bella's pov. **

Omg, omg! What just happened? I sat in my truck driving home. I was not one of those girls. I did not give it all up on a whim. What was wrong with me? Well technically I did not give it all up. I still had my virginity intact. Wow the things he made me feel were beyond amazing though. Fuck you Edward and your precious purity. He made me into this, sex starved 17 year old girl. I have everything intact still, but God did I want to not have it all there. Quill's hands were like magic, the heat and intensity of his touch. It wasn't about love or sparks or mushy crap. It was just helping a friend out while he was helping me out. Wasn't it? Who said having an extracurricular activity with a buddy was wrong anyway? I mean it wouldn't mess with my school. It's not like we were ever going to elope or anything. Just letting him comfort me in ways I desperately wanted and needed. God I need him to touch me again. I wanted to feel his hands on my breast again. Feel his breath in my hair. I was such a whore. I thought blushing at my own thoughts. What did I just do?

I pulled into the drive noticing Charlie's car wasn't there. When I got inside I saw a pizza on the counter with a note from Charlie.

_Headed over to Billy's house. Bought pizza since you were still out. -Charlie_

Great I had the house to myself. I headed upstairs to take a shower. I dropped my new things on my bed to deal with later, grabbed my bathrobe and a change of under garments. In the bathroom, I shut the door and looked at myself in the full length mirror hanging on the door. My hair was definitely an improvement. I shook my head a little and smelled Quill's scent in it still. I started thinking of his hands pulling at my hair again to kiss my neck. My outfit was sexy. The leather pants were so low on my hips that they showed the corners of my pelvis bones if my shirt was raised. As I turned to the side, I noticed the curve of my ass was accented a lot in these pants, making it appear rounder and sexier. I pulled off my shirt to look at myself in my bra, trying to picture what Quill saw on the rocks by the beach. To me, I just looked like a shirtless girl. I focused on my face. It was the same face that looked back at me after a day with Jacob. The same pale skin, and mousy hair. It was the same face that smiled at Alice and kissed Edward. I hated that face, that reminder. I quickly pulled of the rest of my clothes, making myself push the thoughts aside as I got in the shower.

Two things remained true though, I thought, as I washed away the proof of today's activities. I wanted Quill in every way. Not for him but for what he could give me. I was the queen of using people, but in return I could give him what I haven't given anyone else. Ever. And the other was, there was no way I could ever make this a good or right thing to do in my clear sane mind, so I would never have the first thing! I turned the shower off and carefully got out of the shower. I wrapped a towel on my hair and put on my robe and under things.

I grabbed my blow dryer, turned it on, and faced it toward the mirror to blow the fog off. As my face appeared for me again, the memories all flooded back again. There was the girl on the beach today, the same girl laughing with Jake, the same exact girl loving Edward. I frowned at her and she frowned back, mocking my disapproval. Shut the fuck up, I told her. She just stared back at me. What was wrong with me? I can't get anything right. I tried to imagine Quill standing behind the girl in the mirror, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't imagine Jake there either, with his deep brown eyes looking at me as he always does, with understanding and acceptance. I noticed the girl was crying then. Why weren't the guys there? I knew why and just as I thought it, his image flashed before my eyes staring back at me. Edward, standing behind that girl, stroking her hair and kissing the top of her head. I told him with all the strength I could muster to go away, but he did not listen. He just kept on standing there. I screamed at him. More. He was the reason I hated this girl. He was the reason I was so lonely now. I could love Jake or Quill or anybody if it weren't for him. And now as I stood there imagining him behind me, I knew he was off in the world loving someone else. I reached out without knowing and smashed my closed fist into the mirror, shattering the girl and Edward with her. I jumped back when I heard the noise, coming back to reality. I wasn't staring at Edward. I was looking at my reflection. And now I was looking at the mirror shards all over the bathroom, sharp sounds like wind chimes all around me as the shards fell to the sink counter and tile floor. I opened the door and ran to my room, leaving the steamed up delusion in the bathroom. I ran to my room, only then noticing my hand was bleeding from different cuts. I was crying still, not from the pain but the anguish of this all. I grabbed my dirty shirt and wrapped it around my hand in a messy knot and ran down the stairs.

As I hit the bottom stairs the sobs came harder. I faintly heard the phone ringing, but in my condition I wasn't about to answer it.

**Leah's pov.**

Why did we have to have our meeting in the forest anyway, now I had to turn wolf girl again just to get there… not to mention get dirty and grimy in the process, again. This was supposed to be my day off, also.

Jacob just phased, I could feel his mind join ours. His mind was always heavier than the rest, like he carried the weight of the world around all day long. It was weary. "_Shut up, Leah._" I heard Jacob think.

"_Whatever Jake, it's true. I am the only one here who has enough balls to admit it, is all." _I thought back at him. I heard some snickers from some of the guys, and I smirked at their remark. We reached the meeting spot, a small clearing by a brook that was really close to the cliffs we sometimes jumped over to go cliff diving. I waited a few minutes thinking about my hair and wondering if my wolf hair looked better too now that I got my regular hair trimmed. I giggled at my trivial thoughts as the clearing filled up with the other huge wolf boys.

Sam started the meeting by asking me to replay my conversation with Bella in the restaurant today.

I recalled how the conversation started while we were eating and joking about the waitress on crack that was helping us. I had noticed Bella frowning and deep in thought._ Probably trying to figure out how to ask me this huge question she spat out to me today. "What's the matter Bella? You realize your sandwich really is gross" I was teasing her. _

"_No Lee." as she had been calling me a lot today, _I said proudly, hopefully noting that we had become pretty good friends these last two days._ "I want to ask you something, but I don't want you to get mad. Or whatever. We are friends right?" She was really nervous then, biting her lip and really blushing_. I made sure to accentuate how Bella felt while asking me.

"_Sure Bella, whatcha got?" I asked her back puzzled._

"_Well it was confusing at first, I mean the stories about bears. I remember seeing a wolf in the woods after Edward left me, I saw wolves yesterday too. And my dreams. I think the Legends are true Leah. I think there are some kinda wolf people running around and that Jake is one of them." She had let out a huge breath of air like she had been waiting a lifetime to get out what she said. She paused a moment longer on me looking down at the table and then mumbled "I also think you are one_." I showed the guys her looking down trying to make her customary curtain with her hair, but it didn't fall right anymore and she started twisting her napkin nervously.

"_Bella." I don't know what to say. I mean, I can't say, well shit…what do you want." I slammed my hand on the table a little too hard. _I made sure Sam saw my frustration in the matter, knowing I tried to not answer but also not lie at the same time._ She already knew what she believed; she would resent me if I lied to her. Why the hell is she asking this crap. I wasn't supposed to say anything. _I added at the end of my revelations that she already knows too much, and might as well know the details to know the rest._ She isn't the vamp girl anymore_, I also added_. She really is trying to get passed all that. _I cleared my memories, then and focused my thoughts on the group to show I was done with my part. The groups' thoughts were all a swirl then. To an observer it would have looked like a bunch of huge wolves staring at each other, but to us, everybody was reflecting on their own thoughts of how she knew, what to do about it, and with Sam who was to blame for all this. Jake stood forward a bit then.

"_I don't think anyone is to blame, Sam. She saw the wolves twice. I told her the legends before I even believed them. Circumstances just happened like they did. No reason to point fingers."_ Jake looked down then, revisiting my earlier thoughts of Bella in his head, Bella laughing again and smiling. He was thoroughly Bella sick, and there was no way out of it. Thank God he didn't know. And then I stopped as two pair of dark brown eyes shot up to stare at me. Thank God I had stopped in time. This wolf shit sucked sometimes.

"_What do I not know, Leah? What do you know about Bells?" _Jake asked me accusingly.

"I stared at him for a second looking him in the eye and blocking all my thoughts. _"I can't tell you Jake. It's for her to spill, not me. Maybe if you talked to her._

"_You know I can't. Sam ordered. So I wouldn't hurt her." _he whined at me.

"_Well I guess, that was the dumbest or…" _I was stopped in the middle of my thoughts by Sam.

"_Damn it Leah, why don't you try and run this pack a little? It isn't as easy as it looks you know!_" Sam growled at me.

"_I didn't say it was, but Jake is in more control than anybody here, except maybe you, and there is no secret to hide anymore, so why not?" _I dared him with my eyes.

"_We are getting off track Leah, Jake and I can discuss this later. Right now we need to decide what to do with Isabella Swan. We can't just lock her in a cellar and throw away the keys, Jared. We need to come up with another plan. A better plan that will insure her quietness."_

"_Well what if we asked her to keep quiet and in return we tell her the pack secrets." _Seth suggested.

"_Well that could be a start, but we need to watch her until she can be trusted._" Sam said_. "she goes to school. And lives in Forks. Sometimes none of us see her for weeks."_

"_Well I plan on seeing her before the week is out." _I stated. _"In fact I promised to call her tonight." _

"_Wait a second._" Quill said, making us all turn to look at him _"What if she could go to school in LaPush? Then we would see her everyday about. Plus LaPush is so small, we would know immediately that she is going to spill if she was going to._"

"_If she is going to school with me, I will talk to her._" Jake stated. "_But I think that is the best idea so far, thanks Quill._"

"_Don't thank me, bro just trying to help." _Quill said almost sorrowfully.

Sam was searching his mind for the pros and cons of the idea. When a lot more pros added up than cons, he smiled and said we could go for it. "_Leah, I want you to suggest it to her. Possibly tonight. Let me call the Clearwaters and Billy and run the idea by them. But I want her in school with y'all no later than Tuesday. So go ahead and tell her everything about us, then make her promise to agree to the conditions. Got it?" _Sam asked me, but it almost sounded like an order. I didn't care though; I liked Bella. I wanted her to join us at school.

That about ended the meeting, so I asked to be excused from it and took off for home. The faster I could get these guys out of my head the better. I reached the woods by our house and quickly morphed back to my sexy goddess form, then got dressed. I headed inside to call Bella, so we could chat.

**Bella's pov.**

My feet guided themselves through the kitchen and out the back door. I did not stop there, though. I kept on running toward the woods barefoot. I did not feel the cool night air on my wet skin or the dampness on my feet. I ran through the woods until I hit a rotten tree and fell face first into the mulch on the forest floor. I swung out and hit the tree with my healthy hand, as hard as I could, again and again. I only wished it was Edward I was hitting. I hated Edward for the game he played on my life. I was always in danger now, Vampires were still out there. He promised to protect me. He promised to love me. He lied. He just wanted an amusement from his day to day life. I was his mouse to toy with like a cat would. Now he left me alone when his boredom reached its peak. Here I was alone and broken because of that Son of a Bitch. I hated him. I hated his perfection, his stupid crooked smile, everything about him. I hated his control he had over me still. Why did he have to do this to me? I could have loved someone. I could have been happy. I can't now. It's his fault. All my trust is gone. All my love is gone. Jake. Now Jake won't speak with me either. Why can't I keep my friends with me? I was a repellant of friends. I was screaming now, to the air and the wind. Screaming out my heartache and anguish. I screamed as the tears ran down my face soaking into my robe. I screamed until I couldn't scream anymore, and then I just laid there sobbing in the dirt curled up like I'd been the night Sam found me. I wanted so bad to get past all this and live. I just wanted to live, and not think about the past. I wanted to feel again.

And just then, I did feel something to my shock and despair. I felt two arms lift my face up out of the damp forest floor and wrap around my shoulders. I heard two eyes sob out the same tears I sobbed as she began to rock me like a baby, and I heard my new friend tell me it will get better….

**thank you to The Jessamine Riot and hgmsnoopy who reviewed this story! (See you could have got your name listed too if you would have reviewed!) now plz click the little button and review, I won't be checking in for the next day at least and wouldn't it be a wonderful surprise to find a couple of reviews from my secret readers or even the ones who have already reviewed, so how about this...sneak peak at the next chapter on Sun for my new reviewers!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything twilight related.

**Author note: **I want to thank my wonderful Beta RyK77, without her I would be hopelessly lost and I probably would have quit on this story after the third chapter! Wow, this one is a little bit longer than normal!

**Previous chapter: **And just then, I did feel something to my shock and despair. I felt two arms lift my face up out of the damp forest floor and wrap around my shoulders. I heard two eyes sob out the same tears I sobbed as she began to rock me like a baby, and I heard my new friend tell me it will get better….

**Chapter 6**

**Bella's pov**

I looked up at Leah, wiping the tears out of my eyes. "Sorry, Lee. This is really stupid isn't it?" I sniffled at her.

"Bells, don't apologize for hurting, this getting over shit, is harder than it looks." she said gently wiping away her own tears and trying to smile.

"You have so much strength Lee, I don't know how to be like that, and I am trying to be tough. I really am trying to move on." I told her in a sort of whiney voice.

'You are doing ok, Bella. You just started your recovery. It takes time. Don't rush it. Don't push yourself too hard, Hun." She tried to explain to me. "I shut down for months also; it took me forever to manage from day to day. And now…it's still really hard sometimes." She said as she stroked my hair in a motherly fashion.

"Well, right now, my throat hurts. I need something to drink. You wanna go back to my house?"

"Let's just sit here a minute" she said. "This is nice isn't it? Like we are hiding from the world." She let me sit up. I wiped my hands off on my soiled robe and tried to dust the dirt off my legs before curling them up under me.

"Here" she said handing me a flask. "This is my strength when I can't find it. I know it isn't right, but it helps me not to think so much about what could have been, about what I am missing."

I took the flask and turned it up on my lips; the foul liquid burned my throat going down. I grimaced and handed it back. "That is nasty Leah what is it?" I asked her.

"I call it, candy shop. It is a small amount of every kind of alcohol my parents have, so they don't know any is missing. Really gross, but it gets the job done…just wait a bit, it will warm you up and help you calm down some. Take another swig." she ordered me.

"I dunno Leah, that stuff is disgusting." I said nudging her arm back.

"Just do it, you will never know if you like the feeling until you experience it, right?" she said while pushing her arm back out toward me.

I took the flask and gulped down another bitter mouthful. It wasn't as bad the second time. But it was still bad enough.

"So, what is all this about anyway? You know, not the basics but the details." She asked me quietly.

I shrugged "Sometimes I feel like I am going insane, Lea. I used to try and imagine Edward's face. Picture him talking to me. I would do crazy things and my head would make him appear out of nowhere telling me to stop being dumb, but now it still happens I am trying not to think of him, he just appears, I don't want him to or anything. I beg my head to leave him alone. Forget about him. Just…" I paused for a moment to catch a breath. "I want to Let go. I see him everywhere now. I saw him in the mirror today, after my bath. I couldn't get him to go away. So I punched him, then I realized…I, I, I" I let out a small hiccupping sob.

"Maybe you are going crazy Bella." Lea said in a whispered tone.

"What? I am not, you think I…" I replied as I looked at her, with a smirk on her face and laughter in her eyes.

"Bells, I was just teasing, you aren't crazy. That is just your heart fighting with your mind. They are on two different sides of the playing field. Battling for righteousness. You have to will your mind to win. That's all." she said with an all knowing look on her face.

I let out another long sigh. "You make it sound so much easier than it is. I mean look at me." I motioned up and down my body from my head to my tucked in toes. "I am just as messed up inside as outside you know."

"But now you know what you are battling against. It will be easier next time. I promise. Now how are you feeling?" Leah asked me with one eyebrow lifted.

I was feeling a little light headed, but I was still pretty clear minded. "I feel fine. Why?"

"Then you need another gulp." she said pushing the vulgar liquid back at me again. "Lea, one more gulp. Ok. Then I am done. Maybe I will get one of the guys to pick me up something that isn't so awful for you next time." I said laughing at her concoction as I took it from her and swigged down my last gulp for the night.

"Bells! You can't. I mean. Don't tell the guys, ok!" she asked me in a pleading but almost demanding tone. "I came over here tonight to talk to you about them anyway. But first promise me you won't tell them anything about me drinking! Promise?"

"Sure, Leah I promise. Not a word will slip through my lips." I was feeling a lot better now, almost giggly. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Well, you know what you asked me earlier today? You know that crap you dropped on my lap at lunch? Well…that." she said nervously.

I looked at her, waiting for her to finish but she just sat there looking at me. "What Leah, tell me!" I demanded of her. "Do you know about the wolves or what?" I quizzed her.

"I don't just know about the wolves, you are right. I am one. You know the Legends right?" she confessed to me, while not looking in my face.

"I kinda remember the Legends, it was a while back. But I remember Jake saying they were protectors. And they fought off the cold ones." I replied.

"Yea, that is about it in a nutshell. We don't get to choose this, It just happens. I am the only girl. It has always happened to guys before. Somehow it happened to me too. I guess Mother Nature was drunk too, when she was passing out my genes." She laughed out loud hollowly.

"What else is there, Leah? Something else is going on right? I mean besides you being a werewolf girl isn't there?"

"Yea, well it's complicated, but in a nutshell, Sam and I were in love. We were going to grow old together with every sappy dream in-between. But werewolves, I mean like our kind. They have this thing. No matter whom they are with, or who they love. Once they see a certain person, they imprint on them. It's like supposed to be their soul mate or something. I don't understand it much now, I haven't imprinted. It's like that is all you need to survive though, your imprint is like oxygen for you, and you can't live without them. Sam imprinted. One day my cousin came down, he saw her and just like that, we were over. We were through. We were done. To make matters worse, Sam is now the Alpha of us. So he is always there, in my head, ordering us around. He's always there reminding me."

"I gasped "You mean like he can read your mind. Like he can tell what you are thinking?" I questioned her, because I was really confused.

"Well, we all can when we change, into our wolf forms. I can read all the guys minds and they can read mine. I am a little better at hiding things than them. But I can see every detail of everything they think about, dream about or dread. I know. There are no secrets in the pack, the guys say. I know different though. Every girl disserves a little privacy, right? I just need more practice but I can pretty much keep things from them now." she said, boasting of her abilities. "Sometimes I will sing the dead puppies song in my head while running, to block their thoughts. That really irritates them. Mostly I just complain about them. That keeps my mind away from other things."

Just then my stomached gurgled. She looked over at me and grinned. "You haven't eaten yet?" She asked me. "No, I haven't had time. There is a pizza inside though. You want some?"

"I never pass up a chance to eat! Sure." Leah said, and we both made our way through the darkening forest and into my house. I shivered a little as we entered the house, not realizing how cold I had been. "Hey Leah let's bring the pizza upstairs, you can eat while I shower again." I suggested as I grabbed the cold pizza off the counter.

"Sure Bella, we have more to talk about anyway." She told me. I figured the fact that they were wolves was huge. I couldn't imagine what else there was. I stumbled a little on the third step but made my way upstairs safely. I laid the pizza on the bed and quickly grabbed new things to change into. I carefully stepped my way over the broken glass and into the shower; the blood on my hand was starting to stick to the fabric on the shirt that I wrapped around the cuts. The cuts weren't bad, but there were several of them. I carefully undressed the rest of the way and showered. I got dressed again and headed out the door. Upon opening the door I found Leah with a broom and dust pan in her hand at the door.

"I am working off that snack." she said with a big grin.

"Knock yourself out." I replied with my eyebrows raised. "I am going to eat, I am starving! I was still feeling a slight buzz, but nothing major. Just enough to relax me a little. I opened the pizza box to see only 2 pieces remaining from the complete pizza that was there. "Leah" I yelled out at her. "Were you hungry?" I asked her. I heard glass falling into the bathroom trash can and then she appeared in the doorway.

"That my dear, is another wolf thing." she said this time without grinning. "We need a lot of food, I guess we burn a lot of calories in wolf form or something" she said.

"Oh, well that is fine, I am happy to help out with the wolf thing. I think it is kind of awesome." I said "Y'all have super strength, you are super fast, and really y'all are all also pretty hot." I said honestly.

"Yea, we are hot." she said as she reached out to touch my arm. I felt the same feverish heat that I felt earlier on her and on Quill and even further back on Jake the night of the theaters.

"I wasn't meaning that kind of hot, but yea y'all are all pretty warm. Why is that?" I asked her.

"I dunno, I guess with the different kind of gene pool comes different rules on what a normal body temp is. The good part about that is that we don't get cold. Not even a little bit. We could stand in a snow storm completely naked and not even shiver." she told me.

"Well that is awesome also, I would love to never get cold" I told her.

"Yea, maybe it is cool, but with all this we also get a huge responsibility. I mean we can't have a normal life anymore at all. We have to always be on patrol looking and smelling for vampires." she complained.

"Vampires?" I questioned. "Yea, like when y'all went after Laurent. Y'all attacked Laurant." I realized, speaking it aloud. "So, I guess the wolves are not the ones attacking people. No. that wouldn't be right would it? That doesn't match the Legends. Y'all attack vampires." It was like a light bulb went off in my head as I put the two together. "So who is attacking the people then? I mean Laurent couldn't be killing all of them could he?" I asked her confused.

Leah just sat there nodding with me as I thought aloud. "You are good with weird shit aren't you Bella. Jake said you were and no, we aren't killing the people. That would be fucking crazy." Getting a little angry as she said it. "The only thing that is killing the people is the vampires. We did catch the one. He is dead and gone. Well actually I did not kill him, the guys did. I was with you. There is another one though. A sneaky red head. I have only seen her in the guys' heads. Not in person. She is fast."

"Y-y-you m-m-mean, Victoria? She is here?" I said stuttering out the sentence. "Laurent said she would come for me. How long? How long has she been around?"

"A few weeks now, you know her? Bells are you crazy. She is psycho!" Leah screamed at me as she jumped off from her sitting position on my bed.

"Leah, Leah, calm down. I only met her once. I don't really know her. Her mate was hunting me down last spring. He caught me but Edward and Carlisle saved me. She is mad now and wants to avenge his death; well that is what Laurent said anyway." I exclaimed as I showed her my wrist. Tracing over the two moon shaped scars on the underside.

Leah grabbed my wrist and pulled it toward her. She touched the scars. "They are cold, Bella. Did this vampire bite you? How are you alive still?" She asked me crinkling her brows together in concentration.

"I was bitten; I felt the fire in my arm. I don't remember anything else, but I also broke my leg. Edward told me he sucked the poison out. It was hard for him to stop, but he did, he did not want me to be like him." I said while noticing the stabs at my heart were not as bad as they used to be, but still bad, I wrapped my arms around my middle and rocked myself back and forth.

"You mean he drank your blood? To get the poison out. Then he stopped to save your life? Wow, that is, I can't believe, you mean he did not want to turn you into a vampire also?" she asked me. "That is amazing, it doesn't make sense. Like everything we had been taught isn't true. Why? Why didn't he want you to be turned?"

"I dunno Leah. Carlisle said something about he was afraid I would lose my soul, that I would be a monster. I think it was because he did not want me to be bound to him forever." I said quietly. The pain at admitting this to someone else was huge, but it was manageable. We both sat silent for a moment thinking our own thoughts on this subject.

"Hmm, I will have to think on this more later." she said quietly. "This changes so much about how I see them. So let's get back on subject. This Victoria vamp, you say she is after you? That changes a lot. I will have to tell the guys that as soon as possible. That must be why she won't leave." Leah said musing out loud.

"Okay Bella, I was trying to debate how to tell you this." Leah proclaimed, turning the mood completely around and making me forget the last conversation. "I am not sure how you will feel about it, but I think more than ever now it is for the best." She paused again, sucked in a breath and then blurted out. "The guys and I had a meeting today, and in order for me to be able to tell you the truth about… all this wolf stuff, you will have to go to school on the res. Not in town like you have been doing. They are going to transfer you as soon as possible. No later than Tuesday though."

I glared at her. "I have to go to school on the reservation, now? Why? Why not at Forks?" I questioned her.

"Well, the guys thought since you are in the know they want to make sure you don't blab about it. I think it is better because of this blood sucking leech that is after you. We are at the res. school and can protect you. It won't be so bad Bella. We can go to school together. It will be cool. That is why I went along with this idea, I would really like someone I know is a friend, who knows our secrets, to hang with at school too." she said with pleading in her eyes.

"I guess you are right. It may be good to get away from Forks High anyway." I said still unsure, but trying to be optimistic about it. "So to sum all this up, my new friend is a wolf, and so are all the hot guys she hangs out with. I am being chased by a crazed vamp, and I am being forced to attend school with all these hot guys and my new friend so they can protect me. Well it doesn't sound that bad I guess."

Leah grinned from ear to ear. "I guess it doesn't when you add the hot guy part in there. Hey, we need to talk to the guys about this new development. You wanna come or what?"

"Sure Leah" I said as I glanced at the time. It was still pretty early in the evening. "I better not drive though. I am feeling pretty tipsy still.

"Lol, you are such an amateur! It's ok, I saw Embry give Claire a ride once in his head. It seemed safe enough. You wanna try?" She asked with a mischievous grin.

"Um, ok Leah. Like a horse?" I asked unsure of all this now.

"We don't have to Bella; we can come up with another way if you are worried. That would just be the quickest way." Leah said quickly and reassuringly.

"No, no I will try it. I'll never know till I try, right? So how am I going to hold on? How far will we go?" I asked her.

"We can meet at Sam's I guess, I will have to let the guys know. But I can do that in wolf form. You ready for the ride of your life girl? You can just grip my fur it won't hurt me." she asked me. Her eyes were gleaming with excitement.

"Sure, let's go." We headed down the stairs and out the back door after I scrawled a quick note to Charlie.

"I am going to go phase. You don't need to be by me when I phase. I will come back out to get you." she said and quickly took off.

Before I knew it, she was back in wolf form. She was a pale, almost white wolf, beautiful really, but I did not expect anything differently from my glamorous friend. I walked up to her slowly, and she lowered herself to the ground. I laughed nervously when I noticed her tail wagging. I reached my hand out and touched the fur on her head. It was so soft. It was like silk in between my fingers. I ran my fingers down to her nape and swung my leg over her back sitting evenly in the middle with my legs dangling on both sides. She stood up and the swaying motion made my head spin a little. I closed my eyes hard and leaned forward grabbing a handful of fur in both hands. The only reason I knew we were moving was the wind whipping my hair around my head and shoulders. I kept my head down and my body close to her back. The warmth from her skin kept me warm in the cool night. She ran so smoothly, I could not even feel her body moving. I could hear her feet rapidly hitting the forest floor like someone strumming their fingers on a table quickly. I gently opened my eyes, but the night was so dark I could not make out anything around me.

Then just as suddenly as she started, she stopped running and slowly trotted me into a back yard surrounded by the thick forest trees. The back yard was adorned with flower gardens, shrubs and trees with a vegetable garden off to one side. I guessed this was Sam and Leah's house. Leah laid her body back down. We were the first ones here, so after I got off she phased in front of me back to her real self. She reached down to her feet and picked up a small bag that had apparently been tied to her leg. She pulled her clothes out and put them back on quickly.

She looked up after she was dressed and grinned ear to ear. "So, what did you think?" she asked me hopefully.

"It wasn't bad at all. I could hardly tell you were even moving. I could not see anything so I did not get dizzy at all." I told her. "So when is everyone getting here?" I asked looking around.

"Let's go in." she said "they should all be here really quickly. But Emily will be inside already. Oh Jake will be here, too." she said glancing back for my reaction.

"Does he know I am here?" I asked her. "I don't think he wants to see me, anymore." I told her sadly.

"That is very much not true, Bella." Leah told me with a smile. "He has been dying to see you, Sam ordered him not to, oh and don't stare at Emily. Ok?"

"Why would Sam do that? It's not his business." I was really beginning to get annoyed with this Sam. He was very much a control freak. "And why would I stare at Emily" I asked her. "I am not generally rude."

"The reason you don't need to stare at Emily is the same reason why Sam would not let Jake see you. You will see." She said as she pulled the screen door opened, knocked on the back door, and then walked in without waiting for an answer. I followed her inside, noticing the smell of freshly baked rolls and fresh herbs. The house was small and dark but very homey with potted plants everywhere and various wall decorations adorning the walls. The furniture was old and worn but clean. The couch had a bright quilt on the back of it and throw pillows on the chairs. The table had a vase of fresh flowers on it. I smiled at the warmth that came from the home. Not just the warmth but the obvious love it held as well.

In the living room there was Sam, and a few of the guys. Emily was sitting side ways on Sam's lap. But as we walked in, she turned her head. I noticed immediately that her beautiful face was terribly scarred from the top to the bottom on one side. The three long gashes mauled her neck as well. I wondered if Sam had done that to her.

As I was musing, the front door opened and all thoughts of Emily left my head as Jake walked through the door. The entire room was silent as they watched his eyes meet mine. I stared right back at him, waiting for someone to say something. Nobody did. I gently smiled at him before letting my head fall.

"Bella!" I heard him whisper. I glanced up to see the gentleness in his eyes along with the fear.

At that moment, I could only think of one single reply. As lame as it was, and without thinking of his response, and forgetting about the other people in the room, I stated: "You never returned my calls!"

Okay, Just like last chapter, I am going to send a sneak peek to all reviewers. So please review! next chapter is ready and sent off to Ry so I should have it up before long...It is my favorite chapter so far! Thank you to hgmsnoopy for reviewing last time! I appreciate it!


	7. Chapter 7

**a moment from this update is pulled right from the movie...at least what they say anyway! my favorite part of "New Moon" btw! It is breath taking and something you love that muc should def be included in an obsession...right! This update wasn't Beta read..sorry guys. If anybody reading feels like doing it..well fell free! I still love my beta Ry, just so yall know. She is just very busy right now...**

**As yall already know I own nothing from the twilight world...although I would love to own Jake and his muscles! {WINK-WINK} **

**Previous chapter: **At that moment, I could only think of one single reply. As lame as it was and with out thinking of his response and forgetting about the other people in the room I stated "you never returned my calls!"

**Chapter 7**

**Bella's POV**

Jacob looked down at his shoeless feet. oviously ashamed with a moment of bashfullness "Sorry Bells." He breath out, liked he was in pain "Sorry about everything, the lies, ignoring you. Breaking my promise. I have been terrible. I-I-I" and then Jake did something that made the whole room gasp in disbelief. He started sobbing, real tears and everything with loud hicupping gasps of air and moaning. He single handedly made my heart break…I ran up to him and wrapped my arms around his huge muscled torso.

"I know Jake. I mean, I am sorry to. I know it wasn't your fault. It wasn't what you wanted. I should have never said anything. Forgive me Jake?" I pleaded to him. "It's just been so long. We need to talk, I guess." He held on to me as I held on to him, as if the world was going to end. All time, space and people disappeared as I embraced my long lost best friend. I felt whole and complete again, once more. It could have been minutes or hours that we stayed this way, with Jake in my arms, and I in his. His warmth and strength gave me the insurance I needed that not all my efforts were futile. I could feel his heart thudding in his bare chest as it moved slowly in and out inhaling the same air I inhaled, and in this endless moment I knew without a doubt I could put everything in my past were it belonged with his help. I knew I could handle whatever the future held with him by my side but most of all I knew that no higher being or greater alpha power would ever be able to tear him and I apart again. We were best friends, united with ties stronger than anything anybody else could break. The only thing that could ever stand in our way was us and with a lot of effort we could break that trend too.

After several throat clearings and coughs, and a big bump we were brought out of our Jubilant reuniting. I looked behind him to a very confused and surprised face of one, Quill Attera. I pulled away from Jake and backed away from the door with his hand in mine pulling him along with me. I looked to the other people in the room noticing several snickers and grins on there faces. "Sorry guys" I said. "I just haven't been able to see my friends in a long time."

"Bella, don't pay attention to them." Jake said in an annoyed voice "they our way to nosey for there own damn good and this is none of there business." He said firmly daring anybody to contradict him.

The room had quickly filled. There wasn't even much standing room left. It was getting hot inside also with all the body heat from the wolves working together like a giant furnace.

"Let's go out back." Sam said to everybody. "I held back so we could walk by Leah and Seth. "I felt like, if I would have any kind of support in the group it would be from Leah and Jake. Quill hung back with us and we all exited the house in a group. Sam stood on one side of the yard with Embry, Paul and Jared and Emily by his side and I stood facing him with Leah, Jake, Seth and Quill by my side. "Let's get started then. We don't usually have guest during our meeting but Leah already informed us it would be ok since Bella already knows and Emily will know eventually." Sam stated to get us all on an equal discussion field while winking at Emily.

I gripped Jakes hand harder while looking to Leah for reasurance on all this.

"Bella, I trust that Leah has told you what you wanted to know about us?" Sam asked to start us off. I just nodded, not confidant enough to speak yet. "Did she tell you the terms of you knowing?" He asked suspiciously.

"Yes she did. I am to go to school on the res. Because you don't trust me enough to not be a blabbermouth. I said while making my best effort at an accusing stare at him. The other guys all snickered a little except Jake and Leah. I heard a low rumble from Jake. I glanced up to see a warning look on his chiseled face.

"Jake calm down, I am just making sure she knows everything." Sam said quieting down the pack. "So it is all set for Tuesday then. I talked to the Elders and they made the arrangements. Billy and Harry talked to Charlie tonight and he agreed as well. They think it is Bella and Leah's idea so they can hang out more or something like that so stick to that story if anybody asks why." The pack all nodded in response to Sam's demands. "So Leah, why did you call us all here tonight?" Sam finally asked.

"Well, while Bella and I were discussing the ins and outs of the werewolf world I discovered that she knows of this red head we have been chasing. She said that the leach in the field yall killed the other day told her that the red head was after her, for revenge." Leah said boldly. I looked at her, thanking her with my eyes for leaving out the parts about Edward but that secret was short lived.

"Why does she want revenge on you, Bella?" Sam asked killing any thankful vibe I had now.

"Because" I started scuffing the toe of my shoe in the grass while looking down. "I am the reason her mate is dead. He was hunting me last spring. Edward killed him now she wants revenge. She thinks if she takes Edwards mate then things will be equal." I stammered. AS I was looking around at all the eyes staring back at me.

Paul sneered. "And why should we risk our lives to protect you, you are the leech lover, if we give you to her then she will leave us alone." he said viciously.

All of a sudden, Jake started growling at Paul fiercely. "Leave her alone Paul. She isn't with them anymore." he said back defensively.

"Why should I? I am saying what everyone else is thinking! If the stupid vampires were here now, I bet you she would be with them now, and not holding your hand and stringing you along." He stated getting agrier by the second at the confrontation.

He barely got out those words before Jake ripped his hand from mine took two huge steps away from me and phased. His beautiful toned and copper skin turning instantly into smooth silky russet colored fur. At that moment, Paul phased also and they leapt at each other's throats with thunderous growls. Leah jerked my hand, pulling me away from the ball of wolf furry just as I was leaning in to go to Jakes aid.

"What the fuck are you doing are you crazy, you can't help him. At that moment, Seth phased also and without a look back at his screaming sister, he ran to join the fight. I heard a yelp but I could not make out anything else that was going on because of the accelerated movements. Leah continued to drag me inside the house "Bella, stay in here, you will be safe I need to check on Seth, ok." she ordered me and before I could even turn my head she had phased and was off chasing her brother into the forest were the snarling and growling could be heard now. All the guys had disappeared leaving only Emily and I staring at the empty back yard and forest wall surrounding it.

"I'm so sorry" I sputtered out toward Emily's direction. "I did not mean for any of this to happen.

"I know, Bella. It just does. Paul is the hot head of the group. It really does happen regularly. He really should not have said that about you." She said too gently for the person I imagined her to be, according to Leah. I looked up in her eyes to see the sincerity there and smiled at her caring eyes. "Do you want some sweat tea?" she offered me.

"I nodded my head "that would be nice." I said shyly

"So apparently you are the famous vampire girl then. Isabella Swan." she asked me.

"I grinned at her and you are the wolf girl?" I teased back.

She took my mocking in stride as she held out a tall glass of sweat tea "Emily Young" she introduced herself with a smile.

"So, how long do you think this will take?" I asked motioning to the yard were the pack had disappeared.

"Oh, Sam will let them duke it out a bit, but he will end it before anybody gets really hurt." she said with a grin. "You know he sees himself as a self nominated father to those guys. He really does care for them all."

"I guess I haven't had that much of a chance to really know him then because all I know is what happened between him and Leah and his ordering Jake not to see me." I stated truthfully, as I sat down at one of the kitchen chairs with the cool glass in my hand.

I took a sip, noticing the hint of mint and lemon. It was really good.

Leah giggled a little at me "I guess that is true, you have been hanging out with Leah and Jake and they are the ones that have had the most trouble with Sam's authority lately." she said. "It is understandable how they feel though, I would probably feel the same way if I were in there shoe's" she said. She reminded me so much of Esme. It tore at my heart as I clutched at the delicious tea and listened to her soft lulling voice. I had completely forgotten about her ugly scars across her face as her kindness and inner beauty shown threw.

We sat and chatted for a little longer when the door swung open and all the guys came inside.

I watched Emily fill various mismatched glasses with Ice and then tea as they found suitable seats all over the living area and kitchen once again filling the small space. Embry looked my way and said with a grin "see why we have the meetings outside?" He got a smack across the head for that comment from Emily as the laughter bellowed through out the house. Paul sauntered in last walking up to me.

"Sorry I was so rude." he mumbled and then found his own seat on the arm of the couch. The pack kept up there easy bantering for a while longer. I just listened, still not very comfortable with everyone at once. I watched Leah and Seth through out this time, noticing how Leah defended her brother almost as a mother defended her child. She was very protective over him. Jake never spoke often but it seemed like when he did the entire pack would listen up for what he had to say.

After a little while longer, I began to yawn, Leah and Jake both jumped up together ready to escort me home. I laughed at there eagerness "I guess I am really tired, it has been a long day." I said around another yawn" I scooted the kitchen chair out and stood up stretching.

"Bella, I can take you home in the rabbit if you would rather that kind of transportation." Jake asked me. I looked over at Leah who was sitting back down on the loveseat beside Embry. She leaned back and crossed her legs.

"Sure Jake, but I think she liked my ride way better than that rickety piece of crap you have been trying to fix up" Leah argued, looking at Jake and me at the same time.

"Yea, it was cool Leah but umm I think I will go with Jake this time." I said nervously really afraid I would offend her.

She laughed aloud "Go Bella, get the hell out of her before I get bored with ya!" she said jeering at me now.

"Oh, don't worry Lee-lee. I am outta here. See ya later, k?" I responded. Smiling at her mostly, but also intending it for everyone. Quill was watching everything with disappointment in his eyes. I guess I hadn't really spoken to him tonight at all. Oh well, it wasn't as if we were in a committed relationship or anything, crap happens right? I thought to myself, but I did lift my hand a little to wiggle my fingers bye toward him too. He smiled and waved back.

I headed out the front door with Jake at my heels. Upon leaving the house, I noticed an empty from yard. There was no car out there.

"We are going to have to go get my car. I don't normally use it anymore." Jacob told me as he walked passed me grabbing my hand and pulling me with him.

"Jake?" he paused for a minute, and turned back to look at me. I guess it was the tone of my voice that made him stop rather than the question its self. "Thank you" I stated to him simply.

Jake cracked a smile on his beautiful face "for what, Bella?" he asked me still grinning.

I looked down at my shoes took a deep breath then looked into his deep brown orbs. "You came back to me." I said gently, while trying to get the point across about how much it truly meant to me.

"Bella, I am so sorry, I broke my promise. I keep breaking my promises too you Bella." He said.

"Jake, we don't have to keep dong this too each other." I pleaded to him.

"Yes we do, Bella there will always be something. Something that we will have to get through." He moved closer to me while he spoke, he slowly reach out and put his hand on the back of my nape. We were just inches apart now. I looked up from his beautifully chiseled chest too his massively wide shoulders up into his rich chocolate eyes.

"Bella?" I could feel my throat get thick as I watched the desire and love rage through his eyes in desperation. "Que Quowle" He leaned in closer his hot breath warmed my chilled skin while his other arm snaked around my back holding my weight easily as I leaned on him, and reached up to gently let my finger tips trace the lines of the muscles on his broad shoulders. I closed my eyes and inhaled his scent, his breath; every thing about my Jacob filled my senses filling my mind and spirit with complete relaxation. Are noses touched first as he searched for the courage to complete his long journey to my mouth. I reached my other hand back around his neck tightening my grip on him with reassurance as he made the final few inches to my mouth and finally met my lips. All the timidness and awkwardness left from him when he met my lips. A shiver raced up the course of my spine and my broken and tattered heart started racing again. There was a small little voice in the back of my head telling me to run and panic but it was quickly engulfed by my desire to give in and quit fighting this thing, for the moment anyway.

The first small touch was just a whispering caress, from Jacob's over heated but very gentle and soft lips. When my exploring hands drifted down to his beautifully tanned and firm pecs Jacob took it as an invitation for more.

Moving slowly and assuredly I let Jacob guide me enjoying the feel of his full lips on mine, learning each crevice and outline. Seizing the opportunity, I guided my tongue, letting it flick and tease over Jacob's lower lip, sweeping around the curve of his mouth in an enticing dance before slipping between his lips. I shivered with the shock of electricity, Jacob's taste sent down my spine; it had the remnants of the sweet tea that we had drank at Emily's with the strong heat of his masculinity. His tongue curled around mine, stroking along it and building the fire within. My hands flattened against Jake's ripplely abdomen and slid higher, over the tanned shoulders and around his strong thick neck. The movement brought my body firmly against his, and I revealed in the contrast of Jake's toned body against my smaller, soft, form.

He sucked softly on my bottom lip, and I shuddered against him. I was completely helpless to stop the small barely audible moan that formed deep within my chest and escaped. Jakes free hand scooted down the curves of my body, and around toward my back to cup my butt, and pull my hips hard into his own. My heart was pounding and the blood was screaming in my ears until I was certain I was minutes away from fainting. The pure pleasure of Jake's kiss had my head spinning completely out of control.

Jacob released my tongue, and eased back just enough so that his lips did not fully leave mine but allowed me to catch a breath. His arms did not release their strong and sturdy hold, which I was grateful for. Deep brown eyes locked on mine, and I noticed there shade was darker than normal. I wondered if my eyes mirrored the same desire as I clearly saw in his.

With both of us breathing hard, we gazed at each other another long moment.

I could not help but smile as I realized that my very steaming hot best friend was not so undesirable after all! Actually, he was quite the opposite.

**The next update is on its way...review this to get a sneak peak! thanks again too hgmsnoopy who is faithfully reviewing my story, if you dont know what to say...just leave a smile..something so I can see you read it. or if you have a suggestions on a story plot send it over also, I guess all this rambling is just saying...review plz! nothing makes me happier than a simple little review from you! yea I am talking to you! just click the button...TY.**


End file.
